Lifes events can change a lot

Life's events can change a lot of things

A lot of things have happened in the last week that have forced me to look at my swimming through a different light. 

Looking back over the last couple of days when I learnt of the tragic death of an endurance swimmer in the English Channnel. RIP Susan Taylor. On the cusp of joining a pretty unique club, taken from all of us.This is the 8th death of a channel swimmer


Last Wednesday evening I went for a lovely swim in the lakes, managed 2.5 hours. I got out feeling great. All ready to do a 5 hour swim on Saturday morning. I went to bed very pleased with myself and looking forward to the future.

Thursday My life changed. I was the first of the family over this side of the world to hear of the tragic passing of my mother in law and her sister, under suspicious circumstances. It seems that there had been a house fire and they had both been killed. But subsequently this turned out to be a smoke screen, excuse the pun.

It was up to me to break the news to my wife that her mother and aunt had been killed. Not an easy thingto do and I agonised over the question, How do you break this sort of nes to someone, answer - there is no easy way, you juat have to do it. It was yesterday, after the post mortems that we discovered that there had been other reasons for their demise.

The reaction was expected and, will, I am sure be long lasting. 

The rest of the day was spent sorting out a few things, skyping with family and trying to organise flights out to Africa at short notice. Not a Cheap undertaking, I can assure you. We managed to get a flight the following evening. The rest of the day and the following day were taken up by packing, a trip to the high street to buy some things. I then dropped her at the airport for her flight to Africa. After dropping her, I then texted all our friends to let them know what had happened and to NOT contact my wife until Sunday when she would be with her family.

RIP 

MILLIE COHEN

VENA SCHULZE 

Some Serious time for reflection Needed

I now had the opportunity to concentrate on my life, in amongst dealing with the phone calls and texts from friends, and try to fathom out a few answers to some serious questions.that were floating round in my head.

the first one was: - The following day I was due to do a 5 hour swim, starting at 6 am. Mentally I was treading on very shaky ground and emotionally I was a bit of a train wreck. I wrestled long and hard with the decision, as to whether or not I go and do it?

If this swim was not done, the Dream and goal of swimming Up and down Lake Windermere would be gone for this year!! It was a simple yet agonising question which, no-one but I, would know the answer to. I got advice from a few people very close to me, some who had done endurance events and others who had not.There had already been concerns expressed that I was taking on too much with other stuff that was going on in my life, and now this.There was a worry that if failure was the outcome it would knock me really badly.

With the looming prospect of a trip to Africa ahead of me, my training would have been badly affected.The finances would also be seriously affected.

How did I feel in all of this?

My initial response to the concerns was, you have to be on the start line to have ANY chance of success. If you are not even there, then the only outcome is to fail. (not a bad thing), not something I blatantly want to do but you at least have to try.

Well Physically I was relatively confident that I would be able to swim 35Km (21 Miles) I did not have a problem with that. Currently my mental fortitude was on very shaky ground, but manageable. Emotionally I was a train wreck.

I have been around this game of endurance swimming long enough to realise that Mental robustness is a far superior factor than Physical robustness, when it comes to success in these dalliances. You can be in the best physical shape of your Life - if statements by ALL my friends and family worldwide are to be believed, that is where I am right now. I am leaner and fitter and in far better physical shape than I was when I swam the English Channel.

The Factor that was seriously lacking right now in my life is my mental toughness. THIS IS, I BELIEVE, what will get you through any endurance event. Any gremlins that are hatched in your mind are going to - at some point - manifest themselves in your physical being. This is where the Mental toughness comes in. to fight with every fibre in your body to quash the overwhelming desire to give up. It is a desire that overcomes you pretty quickly and permeates your entire being.

For anyone who has found themselves in this predicament, you will understand what I am saying and you might also, like me, having experienced it before. It is not fun trying to find reason to carry on when your whole being is just urging you to throw in the towel.

After two days of agonising thoughts I decided to not take part in this event this year but rather defer it to next year, when, I will hopefully, be in a much better place to give me a far better chance to succeed.

It is with a lot of regret that I am doing this but I have, sort of, been able to rationalise it with the statement that Windermere is not going anywhere.

So where to Now?

I am not going to be giving up my swimming any time soon. As stated earlier in this communication, a habit in which I find solitude. I am still booked into doing a 10Km this weekend and will continue to do other 10km and lower swims during the remaining part of the summer. I have done a fair amount of work to Lose 25 kg (3.9 St --55 pounds) since the beginning of the year and I am not in a hurry to put it back on again by falling back into a pit of laziness and depression

My focus will now switch to the shorter races and my training will now be more geared towards increasing my speed rather than my endurance. Sadly this might entail jumping back into the ocean Blaaagh!! but we will give it a try.With the weather in Britain as it currently is, it would be rude not to take advantage of the sunshine to get out and do some wild swimming.These swims are still good for me with regards to increasing my speed, which has always been a pet bugbear of mine, that I have wanted to increase it for a fairly long time now,

Colins IT, My sponsors have been very understanding and have agreed that If I still want help with the remaining swims I have ahead they will be willing to support me. Very admirable and i am unable to thank them enough

I will still be swimming for the rest of this summer. I feel now more than ever that you have to take control of lyour life and embrace every moment as if it was your last. You never know when that will be.

Thank you for all the support so far and this is by no means an end to this blog, rather a chapter in it which I will be able to look back on one day and maybe make sense of the emotions and feelings that I am experiencing .

My charity page is still open and taking donations. the elderly in Africa Really need our help. Please spare any amount you can to help me to help others.

ZimHippos' Charity Page

As always I end with a quote

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.

Joseph Campbell